Over the last couple of weeks, Alayna has been coming home from school with bumps, bruises and fat lips. At first, when I asked her what was happening, she would say she fell down at recess. Turns out one of her classmates is bullying her, one of her MALE classmates. Now, I don't typically go immediately to the teacher, after our issue with Seth and a bully last year it made the situation worse for my guy. So I talked with Alayna about the importance of telling her teacher and that it would not be breaking her teacher's "no tattling" rule. After this conversation, she told me that she had told her teacher and recess aides when issues arose. At the end of last week she came home with a black eye and a blood blister on her eyelid and two days ago with a fat lip. I have had enough!!!!!
So I emailed her teacher and found out that my dear daughter had not said a word....for fear of getting in trouble for tattling. My sweet little blue eyed girl is getting beat up on a regular basis by a boy...going to the nurses office for her injuries and nobody takes a second to wonder what the heck is going on?!
I am trying to give the school staff the benefit of the doubt and am waiting for the feedback on her teachers conversation with her and the boy today.
When did first graders start bullying? Is it something that we as parents have done wrong? Is it influenced by society? What would make a 6 year old boy want to beat up on a girl? I know that when we were kids the saying was "If he picks on you, he likes you". But fat lips and black eyes??? Come on!!
So Jimmy and I had another conversation with Alayna about how it was important for her to be honest with her teacher about what was happening, that it isn't tattling and that she doesn't deserve to be hurt at school. I tried to explain that her teacher will make sure this doesn't happen anymore and that she will make sure she is safe.....that's what our teachers are supposed to do right?
As a parent of a child that is being bullied, it is hard to know when to step in and how hard to push. Last year, Seth was punched in the face by a classmate and got off the bus with a bloody nose...nobody noticed. When I contacted the school, they were quick to talk to the boy involved. However, it got worse for my Seth man. His "friend" no longer wanted to play with him, he felt like he wasn't being included with his buddies and he was sad. It's a double edged sword really, we want to protect them, and when we do sometimes it ends up hurting more.
In the meantime, we will just keep reminding Miss A just how fabulous she is. And make sure she knows that the opinions of this boy do not matter and she doesn't deserve this treatment. I am trying to teach my children to be the bigger person and walk away from conflict...but I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't be pleased if she punched him back one of these days... :) K