Well, last night was my first weigh in since starting the Big Loser contest. It did not go as I had hoped, I am down 1.2% thus far. I was quick to get disappointed, but I had to remind myself that my body doesn't always cooperate or react the way most bodies would to increased exercise and a change in diet. I needed to remind myself that this is normal for me.
The past month has been bumpy. Have I wanted to quit? Absolutely! Have I cheated on my eating plan? Of course, I'm only human. But more than that, it has been a struggle nearly every day. Don't get me wrong, there have been some ups. Really good ones, in fact.
Here's what I struggle with...food. Food, and my ability to say no to certain things. I also tend of feel compelled to eat exactly what my husband is eating. Which, and he won't deny this, is not always that great. I also have a hard time saying no when someone has gone out of their way to buy me a treat or bake something special. And, ice cream...oh, how I love ice cream. Most people struggle with the exercise part. But, that's the part I love. I also have a hard time staying motivated when my family isn't motivated. They're supportive, yes. But as far as participating in a life change with me?? Not so much.
Nonetheless, I have to remember that I am doing this for me. In order to be better for them. And so, I'll keep going. I walked a 5k a few weekends ago, I have only missed 2 days of exercise in the last month, and I have greatly decreased my sugar intake. While I haven't seen the numbers on the scale move as much as I'd like, my clothes feel different. I am also seeing changes in my body, I feel my muscles taking shape again (mostly my legs, they're one of the few things I like about myself).
This second month of the contest, I am going to really focus on my food. I am excited about it, especially since all of my favorite things will be coming into season soon! I need to learn to allow my self the slips every now and then. And to not let it bother me so much when they happen. I wouldn't be me if I stopped having the things I love, I just have to teach myself how to do it in moderation. If there is anything that I have learned in the last month, it's that if I plan doesn't make you feel good or you can't enjoy it...then it's not the right one. This makes me think back to the times I tried to convince myself that I loved eggs (gross), or that I enjoy any sort of shake type thing (ewww), or even that I could give up bread (yeah, right!). I wasn't thinking about what I could do long term or even what I enjoy, I was thinking about quick results. And that's not what this is about. I'm looking to change myself just enough to be healthier and to live a longer life. Also, I want to actually be able to wear the things on my clothing Pinterest board ;) which, to me, means that I have my confidence back.
Here's to hoping that month 2 is filled with more ups than downs. -K