My Family

My Family

Friday, May 1, 2015

Month 2: Plateaus

So, in month two of my big weight loss adventure, I have struggled with plateaus. The scale has not been my friend for a very long time, 14 years to be exact. Since having children, it has been a constant up and down battle. Then, when Alayna was a year old, I found out about my Hashimoto's. Since then, the lack of movement on the scale pisses me off even more because I know that despite my efforts and hard work, the numbers on the scale won't move like they would for others. I am frustrated that some of the others in my Big Loser group are seeing far better results and I am working just as hard as all of them. I am upset that just by replacing french fries with fruits and veggies, my kids are losing weight and I have been sitting at the same weight for 3 weeks.
I am at a total loss of 1.66%, and feel like giving up. I know that my body works different than everyone else. But that doesn't change the fact that I am discouraged. I really do try to look at the positive though. I am down 4.5 inches and 1% in body fat. That's pretty good, right? I feel stronger and my clothes fit better. I have more energy than I did before. Well, on most days, sometimes my stupid thyroid tells my body that it can't get out of bed. But, for the most part, I have far more energy.
So, I enter into the third month of the contest with a goal in mind. Beat this plateau. That's it. Even if it's just a pound, I need to get past this number. I am trying different workouts and pushing myself hard than I have in the last two months. I have all but given up my Diet Coke (never thought I'd see the day) and coffee (that was easy). I feel good about the choices that I make and the work that I am doing, but it is hard to stay motivated when the results aren't where you hoped they would be.
But, I'll keep on truckin'....because I intend to finish what I started. -K

Thursday, April 2, 2015

Month 1 done!

Well, last night was my first weigh in since starting the Big Loser contest. It did not go as I had hoped, I am down 1.2% thus far. I was quick to get disappointed, but I had to remind myself that my body doesn't always cooperate or react the way most bodies would to increased exercise and a change in diet. I needed to remind myself that this is normal for me.
The past month has been bumpy. Have I wanted to quit? Absolutely! Have I cheated on my eating plan? Of course, I'm only human. But more than that, it has been a struggle nearly every day. Don't get me wrong, there have been some ups. Really good ones, in fact.
Here's what I struggle Food, and my ability to say no to certain things. I also tend of feel compelled to eat exactly what my husband is eating. Which, and he won't deny this, is not always that great. I also have a hard time saying no when someone has gone out of their way to buy me a treat or bake something special. And, ice cream...oh,  how I love ice cream. Most people struggle with the exercise part. But, that's the part I love. I also have a hard time staying motivated when my family isn't motivated. They're supportive, yes. But as far as participating in a life change with me??  Not so much.
Nonetheless, I have to remember that I am doing this for me. In order to be better for them. And so, I'll keep going. I walked a 5k a few weekends ago,  I have only missed 2 days of exercise in the last month, and I have greatly decreased my sugar intake. While I haven't seen the numbers on the scale move as much as I'd like, my clothes feel different. I am also seeing changes in my body, I feel my muscles taking shape again (mostly my legs, they're one of the few things I like about myself).
This second month of the contest, I am going to really focus on my food. I am excited about it, especially since all of my favorite things will be coming into season soon! I need to learn to allow my self the slips every now and then. And to not let it bother me so much when they happen. I wouldn't be me if I stopped having the things I love, I just have to teach myself how to do it in moderation.  If there is anything that I have learned in the last month, it's that if I plan doesn't make you feel good or you can't enjoy it...then it's not the right one. This makes me think back to the times I tried to convince myself that I loved eggs (gross), or that I enjoy any sort of shake type thing (ewww), or even that I could give up bread (yeah, right!). I wasn't thinking about what I could do long term or even what I enjoy, I was thinking about quick results. And that's not what this is about. I'm looking to change myself just enough to be healthier and to live a longer life. Also, I want to actually be able to wear the things on my clothing Pinterest board ;) which, to me, means that I have my confidence back.
Here's to hoping that month 2 is filled with more ups than downs. -K

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Battle of the bulge

I am taking a little break from the gratitude challenge this week because I have something else I'd like to share with you all. For much of my life, I have struggled with weight issues. It started when I was 13. In fact, I can remember exactly when it started and why. That, though, is a whole other REALLY depressing story.
Anyway, since then, I have been up and down the scale. I have tried just about everything out there and have been successful, but nothing has been permanent. So, it was with much trepidation that I applied for weight loss contest at our local fitness center. My children were against it, saying that it would be embarrassing for them. You see, the stories of the participants are followed and documented in the local newspaper. My husband, as supportive as he is, seemed hesitant as well. I had almost decided to give up and not turn in that application. But, as always, my dear friend Bobbie talked me out of it. So, I dropped off my application on Thursday and started the program tonight.
I was extremely nervous for the first meeting and had told my children as much. Their response?? "You don't need to be nervous Mom, you're going to do great." And with that, I promptly burst into tears. These same children that said they would likely be embarrassed by their chunky Mom in the newspaper had become my cheerleaders.
Part of the first meeting was a 1 mile challenge. I don't run...yet. But I sure can walk pretty damn fast. As I was walking the track tonight, I heard Seth yell out "Mom, you're doing good!" I should note that he was playing basketball with his friends. Alayna joined for the last few laps of my mile and we ran the last one.
It is a scary thing to put yourself out there for everyone to see, especially in a small town. This is especially hard for me because, believe it or not, I don't like to be noticed. But, I've had enough. Enough with the up and down. Enough with my thyroid disease dragging me down. Enough of my kids thinking that I might be embarrassing. And, enough doubting myself.  I'm doing this for me, and no one else. But it sure does feel good to have my kids behind me.
It's going to be a long road, and I am probably going to want to quit. People will probably recognize me from the newspaper, and that will be weird. But along the way, I'll figure out what works for me. Maybe I'll make a few friends. And, I'll definitely be moving in the right direction.
I'll keep you posted....-K

Sunday, February 22, 2015

Gratitude Challenge: A friend

When I thought ahead to the person I would write about for this week's challenge, it was a no-brainer. When I think of the word friend, the first person that comes to mind is my friend Bobbie. This should come as no surprise to anyone that knows me, or Bob, for that matter. She is the third sister I never had, my partner in crime, the keeper of my secrets, and the one person that "gets" me when no one else does.
My mom always told me that I'd find my closest friends when I became an adult, and she was absolutely right. Although Bobbie and I have known each other since 10th grade and were close, it wasn't until we became adults that our forever friendship was solidified. When life turned into a huge asshole, my friend was there. When all others bailed, when I made bad decisions, and when I was at my darkest, my friend was there.
For me, the mark of a true friend is the way they react to your call for help when you are at your lowest. When my Dad passed away, everyone wanted to talk about how bad they felt for me and how sad it is that my Dad is gone. But Bobbie, she understood. I didn't want to talk about that, I just wanted to do normal things. Go to lunch, go craft shopping, laugh hysterical at my weird friend. So, that's what we did. Instead of listening to me cry, which she's done, she knew that what I really needed was to keep on keepin' on. For that, I am forever grateful.
I could go on forever, but we don't do mushy stuff. So, I'll just say this...I am eternally grateful for my dear friend Bobbie Jo, Bob, Boobs, Varkenstein! I love you my friend, even though you're kind of a bitch ;) -K
Retreat...we get weird.

Sunday, February 8, 2015

Gratitude Challenge: Week 4 & 5

I have been greatly distracted by preparation for Girl Scout cookie season, so I'm a little late. Also, I purposely chose to group these two topics together. Week 4 is a family member, I chose my Grandpa Huber. Week 5 is something someone gave you, and I chose a piece of art work that my Grandpa gave me for my 13th birthday.

This is my Grandpa, Robert "Bob" Huber. (that's me with him) My Grandpa was such a fixture in my childhood. He taught me about art, World War II, the big bands, wildlife, and how to swing dance. He was a World War II veteran, a wildlife artist, and as we called him, a gentle giant. Imagine, if you will, a pint sized me being thrown around a room by a rather large man "teaching" me how to swing dance. I laughed hysterically along with my Grandpa that afternoon. It is, by far, my favorite memory of him. He was a memory keeper and a fountain of knowledge. He had a contagious laugh and a perpetual smile on his face. I still hear his voice, deep and gravelly, saying "That's the way the cookie crumbles, Kelly Girl." Or telling my mom, "Good gravy, Minnow." (even if there wasn't any gravy on the plate)
My Cameron was fortunate enough to inherit his artistic abilities. Believe it or not, my Grandpa was color blind! This a painting that he gave me for my 13th birthday.
I have multiple other paintings done by my Grandpa, but this one was done especially for me. And, as a result, is my favorite.  Even though my children, or my husband, never had the chance to meet him. I am able to share his artwork with them, and by doing so, they can see a little into my childhood. I would spend hours watching him draw in his room (he lived with us for awhile when I was a kid).  He never kicked me out. He would explain what he was doing, show me how to use the airbrush, share with me his inspiration and we would listen to the big bands on his record player.
I was fortunate enough to have my Grandpa until I was 17. Then cancer reared it's ugly head and took him from us much too soon. But the memories I have are precious, and I get the occasional visit from him in my dreams or the blue jays that show up in my backyard.  I am so grateful to have had such close relationships with all of my Grandparents, they truly shaped who I am today.  -K

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Gratitude Challenge Week 3: Family

I am little late on this one, and there's a very good reason. I am honestly having a really hard time with this topic. Not because I am ungrateful for my family or because I don't love them. Because I am and I do, more than they will ever know. What I having been struggling with is how to put it into words. To me family isn't just the people that you are connected to by blood, but those you choose to surround yourself with. The people that you share every part of your life with. The one's that you know you can count on when all else fails.
I am fortunate enough to have an amazing family. They're funny, loud, creative, passionate, and supportive. We've seen a lot of sadness and have come out on the other side closer than we were before. I am grateful for their humor. For their ability to come together when it really counts and they way they support each other. I am so thankful to be a part of a family that can argue and fight but when it comes down to it, they've always got your back.
And when you want to complain about your family that can sometimes be your toughest turn to those friends that are your family. I have a very small circle of friends, and they are very dear. They're the ones that I share absolutely everything with, they know me better than my "real" family. But like my family, I know that when it comes down to it, I can call them and they'll be there. And, ultimately, isn't that what family is about? My "family" are those that I know that I can trust. The ones that bring positivity and happiness into my life and into the lives of my children. They're the people that know everything about me and still love me. And I am forever grateful for them, even though I may not always say it. -K
The Huber cousins way back when.

My siblings, all 4 of them and my kiddos, celebrating Dad's life.

Eric, Aaron, Mama, Kristin and Me.

Our Florida family, what a great trip we had!

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Gratitude Challenge week 2: My hubs

I'm taking this challenge seriously, two weeks in a row! This week's topic is spouse/significant other. I'm not usually all mushy about my hubs, so this is a little weird for me. I mean, I tell him that I love him many times a day, but when it comes to gushing about him to others...well, I definitely have room for improvement.

My husband and I met almost 16 years ago. I was going the Medical Institute of Minnesota with his cousin, Stacy. He came to visit one week and the rest, as they say, is history. He quickly moved in with me and we were engaged a year later. And then, surprise!! Two years and a day after we met, Cameron was born. It's been a wild ride ever since.
This is shortly after we met. A couple of crazy kids that liked to party.
Jimmy always does his best to humor me and my crazy erratic thoughts. I always want to do a million and one things. My mind never stops with ideas and randomness. He just smiles and nods, and will try his hardest to make them happen. He supports my many hobbies, and encourages me in any of my endeavors. When I said, "I don't want to work 70 hours a week anymore, I want to be home with our kids." He said, "Okay, we'll make it work." I left my job and my bread winner income to stay at home. It was a big risk, and it has been a rocky road with lots of ups and downs. But he supported it without a second thought.
He goes to work every day, even though his body aches and his hands go numb. He thinks of me and the kids first, despite what his work is doing to his body. He takes on side work to make ends meet and sacrifices his time and hobbies to do it. He would give any one the shirt off his back.  I am so lucky to have such a loyal friend as my husband. Even if an estranged friend called him today and said they needed help, he'd find a way to do it. 
Our second wedding. Yes, we had two.
He is a phenomenal dad, but he will say that he wants to do more. I call him the "Fun parent", as he's the one that wrestles and goofs around and causes mischief. I'm the one that yells and makes everyone do chores. We are a good balance. His laid back, happy-go-lucky attitude balances out my high intensity, get it done yesterday mentality. And though I don't say it often enough, I am one lucky gal to have him as my partner in this crazy life. -K
On our trip to Anna Maria Island, FL this past June.