My Family

My Family

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

In the home stretch.

I am tired, stressed out, frazzled and feeling completely and utterly alone.  I knew this move would be stressful and would require a large amount of work on my part, but being so close to the end has made me (and my body) realize how much is still left.
Jimmy is gone much of the week, and when he is home I feel like I should let him enjoy time with the kids. I try to keep from nagging or begging for help.  And up until this past week, I've done a pretty good job of that. Last week was long.  Really, really long. The kids all had a million places to be and activities to do, as did I.  Much of the house still needed to be packed, closets cleaned out, and last minute projects finished.  The new house needs new paint in nearly all of the rooms, the kitchen and bathrooms need to be cleaned...and then there's the unpacking.
I know that I shouldn't complain about having a husband that works hard so that I can be at home with my kids, and that I chose this. But, life as a stay home parent can be fairly isolating. I often find myself craving adult interaction, even if it is just a text from a friend. And as a mother and a wife, my need to want to do everything for everyone often outweighs my need for sanity.  Today, a good scream or two won't even make a dent in the stress that I am feeling. It is hard to not project this onto my family, and it pains me when I slip up and do just that. 
This week, thus far, has been an emotional roller coaster. (and it's only Tuesday)  Yesterday, as the kids and I were disassembling beds, the reality of the move hit them.  I had three crying kids, all upset that they have to leave their friends on Friday.  It's hard to hold it together, when I know exactly how they feel.  Last night, after everyone was in bed, I allowed myself to feel what the monsters are feeling.  Despite not having a lot close friends here, I let the reality of leaving what we have known as our home hit me.  I feel like I am leaving things unfinished, and that bothers me.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel though. We have some good friends helping us out in the last couple of days, and Seth has become quite the packing assistant.  And, instead of diving right into all of the unpacking mayhem, we are going camping this weekend. A little break from the real world is just what I need.  I am still scared about this move, and apprehensive of what the next few weeks will hold.  Today, my optimism is wavering. I am grumpy and emotional.  Hopefully, once this is all said and done, I will be in a better place. 
This will be my last post from Plainview because, as of Friday night, I will be an Iowa resident. See you on the flipside! K

Monday, May 14, 2012

Wow....the last 6 months have really flown by! Here we are, just two weeks left of school and just two weeks until our big move.  This past week was filled with moving activities, and quite a bit of fun.  My mom came to visit us for 4 days, helping out with some packing and painting and going garage saleing with me :) The idea of moving to a new town and a new school has been weighing heavily on the kids minds. So, to make it a bit more exciting, we let the kids pick out the paint colors for their rooms. It doesn't seem like a lot, but when they get excited about decorating their own rooms, it helps a ton!!
Cameron picked camp fire orange (I was not expecting that), he already has big ideas for decorating and has asked for canvases to paint on so he can hang his art in his room.  Seth picked gray, but keep in mind his new comforter (compliments of Grandma Diane), is going to be orange and red and black.  He is looking forward to putting posters of cool cars on his walls.  And A...well she picked pink, of course. But not just any pink, amazing azalea...which more like a fuschia than pink. This will match the new duvet and curtains that Grandma Diane made for her.  The whole point of the weekend was to start to make our new house feel like home. And just by letting the kids create their own rooms, it was a good start.
We also moved many of my plants from my current yard, I am being selfish and taking most of them with me. Just putting plants in the ground made it start to feel like our own.  It also brought out our neighbor, a 79 year old woman named Peggy.  She greeted me with a huge hug...what a nice way to be welcomed into the neighborhood. One of my first projects will be to take my daily walks and introduce myself to our neighbors, I am greatly looking forward to this as our current neighborhood is not very social.
This coming week is filled with more packing and cleaning and painting and digging...whew!  In order to keep it exciting for the kids, they are working hard to get all of their toys ready to go to their new rooms.  Their minds are busy with thinking up ideas on where to put their things and where they will play with them.  It is hard to keep a positive outlook, especially when I am kind of sad about going. But, in creating excitement for the kids, it is hard to not catch a little bit of it myself.  There will be lots to fill you in on this week...hopefully I will have time to sit down and type it out. K