My Family

My Family

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Battle of the bulge

I am taking a little break from the gratitude challenge this week because I have something else I'd like to share with you all. For much of my life, I have struggled with weight issues. It started when I was 13. In fact, I can remember exactly when it started and why. That, though, is a whole other REALLY depressing story.
Anyway, since then, I have been up and down the scale. I have tried just about everything out there and have been successful, but nothing has been permanent. So, it was with much trepidation that I applied for weight loss contest at our local fitness center. My children were against it, saying that it would be embarrassing for them. You see, the stories of the participants are followed and documented in the local newspaper. My husband, as supportive as he is, seemed hesitant as well. I had almost decided to give up and not turn in that application. But, as always, my dear friend Bobbie talked me out of it. So, I dropped off my application on Thursday and started the program tonight.
I was extremely nervous for the first meeting and had told my children as much. Their response?? "You don't need to be nervous Mom, you're going to do great." And with that, I promptly burst into tears. These same children that said they would likely be embarrassed by their chunky Mom in the newspaper had become my cheerleaders.
Part of the first meeting was a 1 mile challenge. I don't run...yet. But I sure can walk pretty damn fast. As I was walking the track tonight, I heard Seth yell out "Mom, you're doing good!" I should note that he was playing basketball with his friends. Alayna joined for the last few laps of my mile and we ran the last one.
It is a scary thing to put yourself out there for everyone to see, especially in a small town. This is especially hard for me because, believe it or not, I don't like to be noticed. But, I've had enough. Enough with the up and down. Enough with my thyroid disease dragging me down. Enough of my kids thinking that I might be embarrassing. And, enough doubting myself.  I'm doing this for me, and no one else. But it sure does feel good to have my kids behind me.
It's going to be a long road, and I am probably going to want to quit. People will probably recognize me from the newspaper, and that will be weird. But along the way, I'll figure out what works for me. Maybe I'll make a few friends. And, I'll definitely be moving in the right direction.
I'll keep you posted....-K